The idea of women as innately “nurturing” is a problem.
Women are expected to be “nurturing” and expend vast amounts of
energy on being emotionally supportive toward men, while men are
expected to ignore others’ emotional needs, fail to adress their own,
and depend on women to do the emotional work in a relationship.
Emotional
labour includes things like: listening to someone talk about his day
and being emotionally supportive when he talks about his problems,
encouraging him to go to the doctor when necessary, being the primary
resolver of conflicts in the relationship, both between the two of them
and with people outside the family unit, etc., etc.
When girls are
very small we are taught to be quiet, to listen well, to be supportive,
to put others’ needs first. This training continues into adulthood,
while at the same time boys are expected to be loud, careless with each
others’ feelings and not to process their own in a healthy way. Through
adolesence and adulthood these pressures increase.
Girls and women who
aren’t adept at or invested in emotional labour are treated as cold,
heartless, and self-absorbed, while men who perform the bare minimum of
emotional labour are considered very sensitive and men who perform the
amount of emotional labour expected of women are considered emasculated.
This social pressure is enforced through media also. Stories
featuring both men and women frequently stress the importance of women
doing emotional labour while portraying men as being incapable of or
uninterested in doing emotional labour. When media does portray
men doing emotional labour, it’s often played for laughs, as the man is
now emasculated, and therefore a target of derision.
This leaves women to see to our own emotional needs as well as to those of the men in our lives, praising
women for being “nurturing” as though it’s an innate characteristic
requiring no effort, and not expecting men to do it because “it doesn’t
come naturally”.
Being “nurturing” is work, and it’s about time we shared the load.
Hot chocolate and piano on New Year’s, no fireworks or champagne. Your mother making us breakfast on sleepy weekends. Dancing in the basement and stepping on your toes. Doing absolutely nothing and feeling like we had everything.
ii. Visit often
Less than 100 footsteps to your house. Making the trip no matter what the hour. When you wanted to know if you cut your boyfriend’s hair too short. When you wanted to pick a future and a helping hand to hit ‘submit’. When you just wanted to say hello.
iii. Learn to be alone
Climbing under your covers because you couldn’t bear to get out. Holding your hand and sharing the same seat in the car. Talking about how to make it better. Then not talking at all and just breathing together.
iv. Focus on the future
Three graduations and a million other milestones. Happy birthday, welcome back, congratulations. Saying to each other the same things over and over that we only ever said once to everyone else.
v. Never get used to it
You didn’t write me an instruction manual on how to miss you.
this whole discussion about a Mulan life-action baffles me. Like… I love the fun with Mushu and all but? Why do we need a Disney remake of the movie when there is
a pretty much epic
beautiful
actually Chinese version
with great characters
and Mulan’s more accurate story
readily available???
Since 2009??
Well I know what I am watching now
UPDATE: I just watched this and I have so many emotions. Seriously, check this out
OOH! On my list!
i didnt know this existed!!! ok
I’ve failed all my followers for not letting them know about this immediately. I’m sorry you guys missed out.
Anonymous
Anonymous asked:
Not everyone can pronounce everyone's name. So forcing someone who is not native in an accent or language to say your name until they get it right is embarrassing to them.
Listen. We do it all the time. You think Tchaikovsky and Dostoyevsky are easy? You think Rutherford is easy? Roosevelt? Illinois? Massachusetts? Shenandoah? People in New York can say Ronkonkowa but can’t say Asif or Obaid.
You CAN say my name, you just don’t want to give me enough respect and dignity. You think it’s undignified and embarrassing to have someone say my name correctly? Try being called the wrong name for years and years.
the word avocado is really funny because it comes from the aztec word ahuácatl which means testicle and also we get the word guacamole from their word ahuácatlmolli which literally means testicle sauce
i knew there was a reason i liked guacamole so much
All of a sudden I didn’t fit in anywhere. Not at school, not at home… and every time I turned around, another person I’d known forever felt like a stranger to me. Even I felt like a stranger to me.
Anonymous
